Let's Go Blues

Figured I'd spin this out of the Nashville discussion but wanted to add a few comments.


What's with the "Powerhouse" church dudes selling candy at every freakin' intersection in the city? I see them on Grand... Jefferson... hell, they're even making their way out the Brentwood now.

Washington avenue seems to be getting pretty bad too.


On a funny note, I was out in San Diego last week and saw a bum with this sign: "Need money for beer, wife is ugly."

last week i had a bum ask for 47 cents so he could get a bus ticket.
Then he asked if we knew where a shelter was.
Then he asked if we wanted to go to a Gentlemen’s club.
Then he tried to sell us some pot...

I now shoot bums on sight...

There's a reason they're bums. Booze, drugs, or mental illness....usually all three.

case closed.

last year around this time, I remember because I was freezing my ass off, I was walking around the city with my fiancee, Time Square so reasonably busy, and there was a bum with a sign that read "Need money for booze, drugs and hookers... hey at least I'm not bullshitting you"

It was classic, and I almost felt like giving him a dollar for his honesty.

So a couple weeks ago me and STL_JA are trying to knock out a rather vicious hangover and for whatever reason decide on Captain D's as the cure as neither of us have been there in ages and it just sounded good at the moment. I wasn't sure where one was, but quickly googled it and found one rather close to where I live at Delmar and Kingshwy. Anyone who knows the area knows that's not too hot an area, but hitting up a fish and chicken joint is generally a safe venture no matter where you go. So we're finishing up eating and this blatant crackhead comes in, buys a soda, and sits down. He gives us this ridiculously polite greeting, to where we're both suspicious he's about to break in with the "y'all got some change". We're on our way out as Punches is throwing his trash in the trashcan when the crackhead stops him in this loud and shrilly crackhead voice "Hey! Hey man what is that?". Punches just kind of ignores him til he asks again and he finally answers with a reluctant "uhh... a hush puppy". Then the crackhead asks "Can I have that?"

I know it's just a crackhead bumming a free hush puppy but it was the most god damn hilarious thing ever at the time. Didn't even know what the damn food was and was bumming it.

Mellanby_equals_grit wrote:So a couple weeks ago me and STL_JA are trying to knock out a rather vicious hangover and for whatever reason decide on Captain D's as the cure as neither of us have been there in ages and it just sounded good at the moment. I wasn't sure where one was, but quickly googled it and found one rather close to where I live at Delmar and Kingshwy. Anyone who knows the area knows that's not too hot an area, but hitting up a fish and chicken joint is generally a safe venture no matter where you go. So we're finishing up eating and this blatant crackhead comes in, buys a soda, and sits down. He gives us this ridiculously polite greeting, to where we're both suspicious he's about to break in with the "y'all got some change". We're on our way out as Punches is throwing his trash in the trashcan when the crackhead stops him in this loud and shrilly crackhead voice "Hey! Hey man what is that?". Punches just kind of ignores him til he asks again and he finally answers with a reluctant "uhh... a hush puppy". Then the crackhead asks "Can I have that?"

I know it's just a crackhead bumming a free hush puppy but it was the most god damn hilarious thing ever at the time. Didn't even know what the damn food was and was bumming it.

True story.

The hush puppy story is classic.

I have 2 pretty good ones. One time me and Nipsey had a Magnum of cheap ass wine that we won at a raffle down at the bar where I used to work. So, after work we took off down the road and we came up with the idea to give the bottle to a bum because there no way a bum ever got a bottle of wine that big.

[satire]So we drove around WASTED[/satire] for awhile until we found this dude and gave him the bottle. You should have seen how happy he was. It was AWESOME!



The other story isn't as awesome. One time after leaving work in the Loop after a particularly shitty night, this bum accosts me as I'm getting into my car and asks for money. I got real snippy with him and eventually got in his face saying shit like, "Why don't you get a (Franking) job? Why should I go in there and bust ass all night so you can come up and take part of my pay, you worthless pile of (add expletive of your choice)!!!!!"

Fukked up thing about it is that he just stood there and took it all and just stared at me until i was done and then I felt like he was going to shank me. [satire]so I fukken got the fukk out of there and laughed at that miserable waste of space the whole ride home!!!!!!!![/satire]

From that incident on (i was only like 22 or something) i vowed to never go off on a bum again. [satire]I know I do that here a lot, but I mean in person.[/satire]

They are just as easy to ignore and usually a good source of entertainment.

Don't ask me about the time I let a dude in the bar who only had a parole ID card and he stole some chick's purse.

Those stories got nothing on my bum story.

I was going into work for the 3rd shift around 10:30 one night. I decided to go in the alley door instead of the front door to my building. I see two people in the doorway but did not know what they were doing until I got closer. Kneeling on his knees was a homeless bum with his pants down banging his homeless chick as she was spread eagle and butt naked. I had nowhere to turn so I kept walking and the guy looks to me, takes a smoke out of his mouth (mid stroke mind you) and says "whats up dude?". I turn my head the other way and try to not laugh. I get to the point where they can't see me anymore and I run around to the front of the building to tell the guys that were getting off their shift not to use the back door.

Guppy wrote:Those stories got nothing on my bum story.

I was going into work for the 3rd shift around 10:30 one night. I decided to go in the alley door instead of the front door to my building. I see two people in the doorway but did not know what they were doing until I got closer. Kneeling on his knees was a homeless bum with his pants down banging his homeless chick as she was spread eagle and butt naked. I had nowhere to turn so I kept walking and the guy looks to me, takes a smoke out of his mouth (mid stroke mind you) and says "whats up dude?". I turn my head the other way and try to not laugh. I get to the point where they can't see me anymore and I run around to the front of the building to tell the guys that were getting off their shift not to use the back door.

LOL!

This would make an excellent website:

bumsfucking.com

Guppy wrote:Those stories got nothing on my bum story.

I was going into work for the 3rd shift around 10:30 one night. I decided to go in the alley door instead of the front door to my building. I see two people in the doorway but did not know what they were doing until I got closer. Kneeling on his knees was a homeless bum with his pants down banging his homeless chick as she was spread eagle and butt naked. I had nowhere to turn so I kept walking and the guy looks to me, takes a smoke out of his mouth (mid stroke mind you) and says "whats up dude?". I turn my head the other way and try to not laugh. I get to the point where they can't see me anymore and I run around to the front of the building to tell the guys that were getting off their shift not to use the back door.

Gup, YOU WIN. That is perhaps the most hilarious story I have ever heard. Holy shit.

i had a bum try and sell me a lawnmower at a pay phone in the loop once. what the guy was thinking dragging a lawnmower around at 1 am i havent the slightest. its weird but the bums havent been as funny for a few years in this town. used to be one of them fools would make me wanna drop a dollar on em for makin me laugh.

These stories make me sad that I ever painted the van.

I have a 1984 that used to be tri-tone brown and no BUM or homeless or anyone would approach it.

Not on Grand
Not on Kingshighway
Not Anywhere

They just assumed I was transporting dead bodies or amber alert victims.

It's Gunmetal Grey Metalic Pearl now and looks somewhat respectable. This is the bum repellent you'll need if you want to be left alone:
[img:600:449]http://a14.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/ima ... cf6e25.jpg[/img]

Mayersfan21 wrote:These stories make me sad that I ever painted the van.

I have a 1984 that used to be tri-tone brown and no BUM or homeless or anyone would approach it.

Not on Grand
Not on Kingshighway
Not Anywhere

They just assumed I was transporting dead bodies or amber alert victims.

It's Gunmetal Grey Metalic Pearl now and looks somewhat respectable. This is the bum repellent you'll need if you want to be left alone:
[img:600:449]http://a14.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/ima ... cf6e25.jpg[/img]

The official van line of child molesters.

The only thing that would've made that van better would've been bubble windows in the back. Niiiiiiiice...

STL JA wrote:

Mayersfan21 wrote:These stories make me sad that I ever painted the van.

I have a 1984 that used to be tri-tone brown and no BUM or homeless or anyone would approach it.

Not on Grand
Not on Kingshighway
Not Anywhere

They just assumed I was transporting dead bodies or amber alert victims.

It's Gunmetal Grey Metalic Pearl now and looks somewhat respectable. This is the bum repellent you'll need if you want to be left alone:
[img:600:449]http://a14.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/ima ... cf6e25.jpg[/img]

The official van line of child molesters.

I tried to be subtle!

And half the reason for the Van:

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