new random observation thread

[ohio BLUES]

If you ever have to use that self expanding foam stuff for anything, don't get it on your fingers... 4 days and counting and it still won't come off.

Great Stuff, eh? Go to a Sherwin-Williams, they have something that will take that off, with some rigorous massaging at least. I forget the name of the product, though.

[BF44]

If you ever have to use that self expanding foam stuff for anything, don't get it on your fingers... 4 days and counting and it still won't come off.

I'll add this.... the can of that stuff says "don't use near an open flame".


They mean it.




Trust me......

[SIU LAW]

If you ever have to use that self expanding foam stuff for anything, don't get it on your fingers... 4 days and counting and it still won't come off.

I'll add this.... the can of that stuff says "don't use near an open flame".


They mean it.




Trust me......

I always wanted to ask you, “what happened to your eyebrows.” Huh, now I know.

[Ehijo]

So, I was out at a pub last night with some friends. At the table next to ours there was a "Beer testing" party going on. You know, one of the bartenders was talking about beer, informing the guys at the table about how to best enjoy your beer and so on. Also, they got to taste lots of different beers. I was mighty jealous. I eavesdropped through it all, it was very educating to say the least.

At one point, the bartender dude started talking about American beer. He talked some about St Louis actually, about Anheuser-Busch and so on. He said he had visited some big brewery in St Louis or whatever. An then he said this (pretty much verbatim):

"So mostly, in the States, it's all about three brands of beer; there's Miller's, there's Coor's and there's Budweiser. Mineral water, mineral water and mineral water."

Pretty funny.

[OS]

WTF do Swedes know about beer????

That's like Germans pretending they're experts on Vodka!

[SteveO]

The sad thing is, for the most part that guy was right.

[Ehijo]

WTF do Swedes know about beer????

That's like Germans pretending they're experts on Vodka!

Actually, the guy also said that "embarrassingly enough", we Swedes drink the most American beers per person out of any country outside of North America.

And, FYI, there's lots of good Swedish beers around, that, you know, actually tastes like beer.

[marco]

If Budweiser wanted to, they could increase the amount of hops they put in their recipe to give it a more bitter taste. On their scale that would be sure to put a crunch on the supply of hops to some smaller breweries not to mention make their "American Lager" label go into question. One of the best qualities about Budweiser is the refreshing taste. It's like golden carbonated water with a touch of alcohol and a sprinkle of hops. You can easily taste the difference in American and German styles by picking up some Spaten, Paulaner or Lowenbrau. They have a similar look but the German style has a noticably more bitter taste to them.

If you want a very bitter beer, try Arcadia Ales, "Hop Rocket." It comes in 4-packs for roughly $12.00. It is significantly more bitter than your run-of-the-mill IPA.

I prefer Belgian Tripels. They have a nice color with lots of body, nice head and lacing, great flavor, aroma and are notoriously high in alcohol (8-9%ish).

Thank God it's Friday!

[OS]

And that's what I've never understood. Why are beers that are bitter considered to be premium? To me, they just taste bad and like they were poorly made.

[BF44]

Beer sucks.

[OS]

Thems fightin words!

Mountain Dew Sucks!

[marco]

And that's what I've never understood. Why are beers that are bitter considered to be premium? To me, they just taste bad and like they were poorly made.

It is all personal preference. Unfortunately, it seems that the people who have a preference towards more bitter, or more flavorful beers tend to rip on the beers that do not meet their personal preferences for taste on one scale or another. Budweiser is extremely successful in what it trys to accomplish, and I personally enjoy it when in the right setting.

A poorly made beer is a beer that fails in what it was set out to do. I have had IPA's that are overdosed on hops. It's a beer that is supposed have a very distinct bitter taste (more than a Pale Ale), but it should also be in balance, whereas I have had a few that go a little overboard on the bitterness. When you purchase a beer, the label/marketing should be in sync with what you are getting. When I purchased Arcadia Ales, "Hop Rocket" I expected it to be over the top on bitterness, they were right on, and good for them. If that's not something you like, that is definitely something to stay away from.

[big d note]

[big d note] 1:55 pm: Have you ever seen a volcano erupt?
[Dooger] 1:55 pm: No I have not seen . What's it like?
[big d note] 1:55 pm: It's like after you eat a really spicy burrito x1000.
[Dooger] 1:55 pm: The ALICE chat robot can follow many things, like our discussion about Itapos;s like after you eat a really spicy burrito
x1000. But I did not get that. Do you remember me?
[big d note] 1:56 pm: I'm saying there is a lot of fire, burning, and lava flow. Many innocent villagers die.
[Dooger] 1:56 pm: My brain contains more than 22,000 patterns, but not one that matches your last input. What is your favorite song?Which
ones?
[big d note] 1:57 pm: They all die unless they make a sacrifice to the volcano god.
[Dooger] 1:57 pm: Are there no exceptions?
[big d note] 1:57 pm: Only Pierce Brosnan can escape.
[Dooger] 1:57 pm: What about the other ones?
[big d note] 1:58 pm: They all die because they don't have Chevy Suburbans with snorkels.
[Dooger] 1:58 pm: Are there no exceptions?
[big d note] 1:58 pm: Pierce might rescue one hot lady friend, but that's it.
[Dooger] 1:58 pm: "it" being Iapos;m saying there is a lot of fire burning and lava flow?
[big d note] 1:58 pm: Exactly.
[Dooger] 1:58 pm: You and I are on the same wavelength, big d note.

[WaukeeBlues]

Never beer-bong a Sam Adams.

[ohio BLUES]

Never corn-hole a Sam Adams.

[Portland Blues]

That chick in the Dobbs Tire commercials (with the giant eyes and weird mouth) looks like something Tim Burton created.

[Blueline29]

This isn't an observation, but rather something I just found while going through a bunch of old junk on my computer. I guess I managed to save some Onion stuff before they started charging people for archived articles, the bastards.

Anyway, I love this one; I'm not entirely sure what that says about me, but there it is.

VOLUME 38 ISSUE 37 9 OCTOBER 2002
Front Page Opinion Previous Issue Archives


Take Advantage of Our Two-for-One Scott Tissue Special, For One Day We Will Die

By Len Comello
Food King Manager

Attention, Food King shoppers: Now in Aisle Four, take advantage of our two-for-one special on all Scott Tissue and Scott Towel products. Purchase up to 10 rolls of each. It's just one way you can save big as a valued Food King shopper. And do it soon, for one day, all will be dark. Then, there will be no savings, no bargains, only the cold, eternal embrace of Death.

And don't forget that every Tuesday is Double Coupon Tuesday at Food King, with extra savings on our already-low everyday prices. Small consolation for the inevitability of being buried under six feet of earth, the worms burrowing through our eye sockets, our flesh turning to dust in the pitch-blackness. But still, a fine reason to shop at Food King, no?

Also, be sure to check our Schreiber gourmet cheeses, on sale this week at $4.99 a pound. Do they really taste different from the bargain-brand cheeses, or do we fool ourselves into thinking that the higher price somehow imbues the product with the ineffable virtue of quality? How we would savor each crumb if the cheese were $100 a pound! How your guests would flatter you! So fill your cart if it brings you pleasure, but do not come to me hoping to find meaning in this absurdity.

For the month of October, buy two-liter bottles of all Coca-Cola products for just 99 cents each. Or, if you prefer, buy Pepsi, RC Cola, or Dr. Pepper for a little bit more. Or a host of other competing national brands, for that matter. For at Food King, you have both the power and the burden of choice--inescapable choice. From which products to buy to what manner of payment, to the type of bag in which to carry the items home, choice torments the Food King shopper at every turn.

And don't miss our special offer on 12-packs of Budweiser beer for $6.99. You might as well take advantage. Who in this store would deny a helpless imbecile adrift in a cold, uncaring universe the chance to numb himself against the fickle whim of time and circumstance? It is all a rehearsal for the grave.

As if that weren't enough, Food King has everyday low prices on cosmetics and beauty aids, so there's never been a better time to delude yourself. Paint your face with blood-colored sludge and pretend you are somehow something more than a slab of meat temporarily occupying space in this uncaring world. Smear yourself a mere mote closer to the pretty princess you fantasized of being as a young girl. Go ahead, transform your crumbling visage into a ghoulish death mask, all caked-on rouge and clumped mascara. All existence is a delusion and fantasy, anyway; it does no harm to embrace it.

My father has been dead 12 years now. He used his last words to curse the gods for the cancer that had devoured his brain and his bones. Would he be pleased to know, more than a decade past his death, that 30-gallon Glad Bags were on sale for $2.69? It is hard to believe such an offer would be a balm to his soul. But so it is with us all. A hundred years hence, drunken high-school boys whose grandfathers are not yet born will sit upon my burial mound drinking illicitly and urinating on my headstone, and how I might feel about that now will matter not at all.

Our bakery counter has sheet cakes with free custom decorations starting at $5.99. Mark the passage of time, the birthdays, the anniversaries--these annual landmarks mean only that we are one year closer to our inescapable end. We claim to treasure life so, yet we celebrate each step taken toward the grave.

Those who missed last week's half-off Cinnamon Toast Crunch promotion, do not cast blame on yourselves. To live is to fail. Whether you seek to recapture the unconditional love of the womb or to overcome the unstoppable forces of entropy, failure is our lot in life. The loftiest of ambitions are but toys of nature, fleeting soap bubbles for the capricious Fates to dash upon the rocks for a moment's sport.

I gained my freedom the day I accepted my destiny and took work at the Food King, where I eke out a meager existence informing faceless rabble of everyday low prices on butternut squash and K.C. Masterpiece.

So come! Purchase three boxes of Twinings Ceylon Breakfast Tea for the price of two. Indulge in the city's finest deli counter, purveyor of fine macaroni salad and unctuous rotisserie chicken. It matters not. The sun sets on us all. To believe otherwise is the nakedest of folly.

And don't forget: Blue Bonnet tub margarine is on sale for just $1.09 through Saturday.

[SIU LAW]

I love this pic:

[WaukeeBlues]

I love this pic:

[SteveO]