What's the most redneck thing you've ever done?

[big d note]

A fun thread for Friday. I'm not sure what's at the top of my list. Here are two possibilities though:

1. Going to a wedding reception bonfire (made of burning pallets), sitting on straw bales in a horse paddock, with a keg of shit beer and a port-a-potty rented for the event, and the groom wearing a tuxedo t-shirt.

2. Seeing Ted Nugent at Billy Bob's (the world's largest honky tonk) in Ft. Worth, TX. I've never seen a greater concentration of pickups with truck balls in one place.

[abc789987]

I don't consider myself a redneck or anything close to one so mine might be pretty lame.

Going to a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert...

Going to Monster Jam...

[cprice12]

I'm not a redneck either, so I don't know if I have any good stories.
The best I have is probably floating down a river in an innertube with a beer?

[big d note]

One time I trimmed my beard into a fu manchu and sideburns. I looked like a complete hoosier.

[DaDitka]

Were do I start? I built a mud truck and have two beer fridges in my garage for Christ’s sake.......


Ran out of fire wood one night so we burnt the patio set

Passed out on top of a service fan in the street

Passed out in the dog house

Beer darts (sit 10 feet apart with beer cans between your feet and throw steel tip darts...if it leaks, you drink)

rolled pennies for 40s

Hung out of the back of a pick-up truck on the highway with someone holding my legs while I beat a car with a hockey stick.


I'm sure I'm probably forgetting the best ones.

[DaDitka]

I'm not a redneck either, so I don't know if I have any good stories.
The best I have is probably floating down a river in an innertube with a beer?

I guess this means a LGB float-trip is out of the question?

[big d note]

Nice, looks like DaDitka is solidly in the lead. I thought of one other submission. You may remember the picture of my truck that I posted when it was for sale (and the guy wanted videos of my foot on the gas pedal ):



It was a Jimmy, not a pickup, but I wanted to haul some free dirt and rocks that I got on craigslist. So I got a bedliner out of an S-10, cut it down by about a foot, took out the Jimmy's back seat, and shoved the bedliner in there so it filled the back from the front seats to the tailgate. Then I proceeded to shovel dirt in there, but I didn't really think about how the dust was going to cover everything in the front of the truck too. Oh well, it was already filthy so you couldn't really tell the difference anyway.

Another one: dumpster lids make good sleds.

[cprice12]

Nice, looks like DaDitka is solidly in the lead. I thought of one other submission. You may remember the picture of my truck that I posted when it was for sale (and the guy wanted videos of my foot on the gas pedal ):

That was the best story ever.

[thedoc]

This one 4th of July I was at the DaDitka's house and we had been drinking Natty all day and we decided to go onto the roof to watch the fire works. Well we needed a place for our empty beer bottles so we thought it would be cool to see how many we could throw into the neighbors pool and we conviced this drunk bitch to do it that we didn't like who was the guest of a friend. Then we were like hey we are up on the roof and his kids have a trampoline so we thought it would be cool to jump off of the roof's highest point onto the trampoline so the same drunk chick we talked her into doing it except that she was too fat and she broke the trampoline. Then she wanted to go to the hospital because she sprained her ankle and we told her she was to drunk to drive so we got out the impact guns and took her tires off of her car and put it up on blocks. Then she got in the car and was trying to drive off but she didn't realize the car was on blocks. Then the cops came by and pulled her over (kinda) and we told the cops we didn't want her drinking and driving but she had thrown beer bottles in the neighbors pool and she was here with a guy who had left and they arrested her for DUI. She had it coming she was a blackhawks fan.

[DaDitka]

That story isn't as embellished as one might think.

She wasn’t a Hawks fan.

[thedoc]

But she was/is fat. She has kankles.

[DaDitka]

B*tch went jogging and got road rash on her kankles.

[Leedog]

Responding to this question.

[fargoblues]

Strapped a canoe to the roof of a Ford LTD (no luggage rack) using a couple of bungie cords.

[F Keenan]

Ran out of fire wood one night so we burnt the patio set

Ok, I don't see ANYTHING topping that.

Beer darts (sit 10 feet apart with beer cans between your feet and throw steel tip darts...if it leaks, you drink)

HUGE fan of beer darts. We even have custom mats.


As for me, it's not the most redneck thing that I have done. It's the most redneck thing that I am going to do. Tomorrow I will be attending the St. Patrick's Day Parade wearing a "texas" catheter. Basically a condom with a tube attached. Just run the tubing down your pants leg and tape it to the side of your shoe. This way I can stand there, watch the parade, and urinate without having to wait for one of those pesky portable toilets. Yeehaw.

[stlmark]

I chew tobacco.

[Portland Blues]

Nice, looks like DaDitka is solidly in the lead. I thought of one other submission. You may remember the picture of my truck that I posted when it was for sale (and the guy wanted videos of my foot on the gas pedal ):

That was the best story ever.

I still think about that story and laugh too.

[ViPeRx007]

Is it weird that all of these stories seem normal to me?

[dmiles2186]

I live in Newton, Illinois....the place is overflowing with rednecks. Not that there is anything wrong with being a redneck, but I certainly don't consider myself one. It's been about 5 years now, but me and a buddy of mine got roped into going to a Toby Keith/Ted Nugent concert by these girls we were hanging out with at the time. My buddy and I made the best of the situation by going nuts for Ted Nugent, simply because he's friggin' Ted Nugent and he'd probably kill us if we disapproved of him.

[Guppy]

on one of my birthdays, a friend of mine and I decided to drive through some corn fields in Illinois. This was in Sept. so the corn stalks were 6-8 feet or higher.

Another was after riding 4-wheelers most of the day having one guy throw up a clay target and 10-12 of us shoot at it with our shotguns.

Crazy stuff eh?