I thought the headline said Rick James dead, and I was gonna be all, yea, welcome to 2004 time-traveler. Then I saw it was Ronnie James Dio and I was sad.
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As everyone knows, Dio has died of stomach cancer... Or at least that's what the media says! The truth is, Dio died while battling a dragon! He was trying his hardest to save the human race from this monstrous beast dragon that was trying to attack us! Now, with Dio, our fallen hero being destroyed by this diabolical dragon, we the people of Earth are completely screwed.