. . . people/you joined hockey forums or any kind of forum really:
You joined forums seeking friendship but you can't understand why most Forumsters just tell you to ____ off . . .
You were abducted by aliens and now your life-long ambition is to find others like You . . .
You're a depraved foul-mouthed goof and your family has secretly hired me to join and monitor the forums you obsessively frequent, gathering evidence to have you committed for psychiatric care . . .
You tried religion but when God didn't give you a giant penis, you knew there was no such things as gods . . .
You can't understand why people don't agree with your logic nor understand why most Forumsters just tell you to ____ off . . .
You finally found a forum where people use profanity just like you but you can't understand why most Forumsters just tell You to ____ off too . . .
You joined a so-called Christian forum but even people in those forums ban you . . .
You've posted over 10,000 threads in a forum because you don't have a life but you're one of the moderators so no one can tell You to ____ off too without getting banned . . .
You want to share your profound wisdom about politics, life, philosophy, sports etc. but you can't understand why most Forumsters just tell you to ____ off . . .
You're bummed out because every time you post an Introduction in a forum, Forumsters call you a liar and/or a troll . . .
You think you were abducted by aliens and were given a mission to join forums and then display an alien-kinda-like pic on your profile to pretend you're tough and evil and maybe partly alien now and also hoping the aliens might later use You as their ambassador to communicate with species earthlings on the aliens' behalf but you can't understand why most Forumsters just tell You to ____ off too . . .
You're an atheist and you can't understand why almost everyone you talk to in real life could care less about athiests so you joined/started a forum hoping to find others just like You . . .
You thought these "Poor Me themes" were hysterically funny and typically true for most forum-dwellers and you want to post your agreement but you're too afraid it might get you banned and you won't risk sending a PM either for the same reason . . .
Because You are female, you thought people in forums would appreciate a feminine point of view but you can't understand why most Forumsters just tell You to ____ off too . . .
You're narcissistic forum owners that ask people to send you a real email message after they register to join your forum; explaining why they 'really' want to join your forum in order to double-confirm their sincerity even though you 'really' know they'll just lie to you with a BS email message to get in your dumb forum anyway so they can be foul-mouthed and you can't understand why it's an exercise in futility but you enjoy banning "those types" even more cuz you're an imbecile but 'really' you wish people liked you . . .
You're a pervert but hiding in a forum let's you pretend you're normal until Forumsters tell You to ____ off too . . .
You're a troll(have no life) but by calling everyone else 'trolls'(losers) you think it's a secret code recruiting others into the brotherhood of trolldom(asininity) but you can't understand why most Forumsters just tell You to ____ off too . . .
You always report topics that you don't understand or that offend you because you're a naïve judgmental hypocrite but 'really' you wish people liked you . . .
You have low self esteem and want to find someone in a forum to whine about life with but because most Forumsters just tell You to ____ off too, you're now even more depressed . . .
You hoped to find a girlfriend by joining a forum but when you PM members whom you think are female, they just tell You to ____ off too . . .
You are so frustrated with “not knowing” (ignoramus), that you have become hatefully psychotic doing things like hanging out in so-called and otherwise disguised agnostic/christian/atheist forums with your anonymous cyber-pals who are just as delusional as You or worse and who also hate You and/or you just haven’t grown up yet while you obliviously act out as they do (mimic Satan), displaying cartoonish demonic avatars on your profile but you can't understand why most demonic Forumsters just tell You to ____ off too . . .
If you have more interesting reasons than "those", I'd like to read them and I probably won't tell you to ____ off either? This topic is also used to sort 'those' out for my Ignore List. Thanks.